Tone

False suspense transitions that promise a revelation but deliver a point that did NOT need the buildup. The model uses these phrases to manufacture drama before an otherwise unremarkable observation LOL. Also includes: "Here's the thing", "Here's where it gets interesting", "Here's what most people miss".

“Here's the kicker.”

The patronizing analogy. AI constantly reaches for "Think of it as..." or "It's like a..." to simplify concepts. The model defaults to teacher mode and assumes the reader needs a metaphor to understand anything. Often produces analogies that are less clear than the original concept.

“Think of it like a highway system for data.”

The classic AI invitation to futurism. To sell the argument usually begins with "Imagine" followed by a list of wonderful things that will happen if the reader agrees with the premise.

“Imagine a world where every tool you use -- your calendar, your inbox, your documents, your CRM, your code editor -- has a quiet intelligence behind it...”

Simulated self-awareness or honesty that reads as performative. The model pretends to break the fourth wall or admit a bias, creating a false sense of authenticity. Real vulnerability is specific and uncomfortable; AI vulnerability is polished and risk-free!!!!

“And yes, I'm openly in love with the platform model”

Asserting that something is obvious, clear or simple instead of actually proving it. If you have to tell the reader your point is clear, it very likely isn't.

“The reality is simpler and less flattering”

Everything is the most important thing ever. AI inflates the stakes of every argument to world-historical significance. A blog post about API pricing becomes a meditation on the fate of civilization.

“This will fundamentally reshape how we think about everything.”

The pedagogical voice that assumes the reader needs hand-holding. AI defaults to a teacher-student dynamic even when writing for expert audiences. Also includes: "Let's unpack this", "Let's explore", "Let's dive in".

“Let's break this down step by step.”

Attributing claims to unnamed authorities instead of being specific. AI loves to invoke "experts", "observers", "industry reports", and "several publications" without naming anyone. It also inflates the quantity of sources -- presenting what one person said as a widely held view, or writing "several publications have cited" when it means two. If you can't name the expert, you don't have a source.

“Experts argue that this approach has significant drawbacks.”